Transition from working to staying at home
I can remember from an early age knowing that I wanted to be a mother some day, but first I also wanted to be a working independent woman. Bringing home my own income, and contributing financially to the household. Immediately out of high school I worked at a few different jobs and enrolled in a state college working on getting my degree in business management. I eventually took a job working in a bank part time and my working career took of from there. It didn’t take too long but I carefully worked my way, promotion by promotion to become a manager. I was fairly young and I can remember being very nervous my first day, at just 20 I would now be managing 6 people most of who were older than me. I was focused though and determined to be a good manager. Forward 7 years from my first day, and now I’m pregnant with my second child! I had a 3 year old at home and went on maternity leave with number two. I remember thinking that I was lucky enough to get to spend 12 whole weeks at home with my kids and then I was back at work (it’s amazing how fast time flies). I was back for two weeks before I had a representative from HR coming in for a “meeting” and unfortunately cuts were to be made. Myself along with about a dozen others from across the company had their jobs cut.
My husband and I decided that I would use my severance pay and take the summer off from working to spend time with the kids and putting things into order. Now it’s been three and half years and I’m still home taking care of my family. It was, and still is, the most challenging change in my life. To be committed to being home 24/7 and literally tend to everything that your family needs is much more difficult than most people give moms and dads credit for. Some days I feel that I’ve lost my sense of identity and that I may actually go crazy. But of course neither of those have been the case as of yet.
Going from working and have a sense of authority to kind of just being home was exciting at first, no rush to get up at 5 am, no shuffling kids to get dressed, fed and out the door at time, and NO rush hour! I definitely enjoy the perks of that stuff, but then came the reality that I was now responsible for everything else, the things that my husband and I would share duty of became my sole responsibility. Then came the feeling of loneliness, no interactions with adults, no just grabbing lunch from the diner down the street, and now arguing with a 3 year old about why we can’t have junk food at the crack of dawn, and not having the energy to change out of my pajamas for the day.
It took a while to re-find my purpose in my own life and to re-define how I could still feel confident that I was contributing to my fullest extent to my family. I wasn’t easy for me and I certainly still work at it everyday, but it is also not done with out help. I leaned on my husband to prop me up mentally and physically, I turned to Pinterest for ideas and help to organize my thoughts and life, and I even went to see a therapist, whom I still see. I started to organize my days, and weeks to keep on top of everyday things, so that the tasks didn’t inundate me and so that at the end of the day I didn’t feel as though nothing was accomplished. I found that time for me was more important now than it had ever been, and finding time with both my husband and friends all helped me to get out of my initial funk and shock to my system.
Now my littles are 6 and 3 and growing up faster than I can keep up with. Becoming a stay at home mom is a decision that I’m very glad that I have had the privilege to enjoy. I know that my children have benefited immensely but also that my family as a whole has benefited. If you are a choose to be at home mom or delt an unexpected hand in the at home game, I hope that you have found it to be enriching in your life and embrace all the changes (good and bad) that it brings to your life.
Share your experience and thoughts with becoming a stay at home parent here I’d love to hear about how other mom’s and dad’s cope with the change to their lives. And be sure to subscribe to my monthly newsletter for updates.
Thanks for reading!